Do It Quick!
44
How dare you
take up space
in my life!
To linger here
like a bad taste
long after the bite.
You wanted out:
go,
begone,
do it quick!
How dare you
take up time
from my life!
To hang around
like a bad smell
long after the fire.
You wanted out:
go,
begone,
do it quick!
How dare you
break my heart
and mess up my life!
To leave no apologies
like a rude stranger
jostling into me.
You wanted out:
go,
begone,
do it quick!
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Hi, Marlena! Thank you and I'm glad you like my poem. Yes, soured love is what I was aiming for: when good love has gone bad! I always hope my readers can see and feel what I'm writing about. Thank you for visiting and commenting and hope you'll come back!
oh, such a bad taste...but love the powerful use of words...
Thank you, raciniwa. I'm glad you liked it. I have found that words are very powerful indeed. Bad love does leave a very bad taste! Thanks for reading and for the feedback; I appreciate it.
I love your font choice and use of spacing in this poem!
Hi, Kate-Olson, and thank you for stopping by. I'm glad you like the way I laid my poem out. I try not to fit all of my poems into a "box", but rather as the words flow from me and as I envision each piece; almost like a work of art. Thank you for your kind words!
You go girlfriend! Just tell him to get on out of here!
Thank you for the encouragement, zzron...I'm working on it, lol!!
damn.. strong and bold..I love it!!!
Yes, exactly what I was aiming for; thank you, Frank! I have struggled with some strong feelings and wrestled with just how to get them processed...this is a piece of that. I'm glad you liked it, and thank you for your show of support!
There is a wonderful sense of strength in this piece--just when we need it most!
Audrey, I'm glad you could sense the gathering strength as the poem progressed: the passion to push past the unwanted intrusion of pain being inflicted. Too many times people will say they want to leave, yet they seem to drag their feet. Sometimes we want to rail at them to not just continue the vocal threat, but to follow through with the action; basically, "Get lost", lol. Thank you for your support of my hub!
Marlena Oechsner Level 3 Commenter 4 months ago
Love this! Especially the beginning about lingering like a bad taste long after the bite. Very powerful words...makes me think about sour love...